“Funny Thoughts To Ponder”
This is something that I found in this website. I figured I would answer some questions since there is no particular thing I want to write about at the moment. (>_<)
Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
I think so? Well thinking about the word itself I would say it’s called facial hair. It just has a specific, designated label. 🙂
At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?
The right one, because I’m right! muahaha
If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone else over, does it stop to help them?
Hmmm….. the likelihood of that happening are few and far in between. But I would hope so. If they didn’t that would just be strange. But if that were the case, I’m sure they would call for another ambulance for their prior rescue.
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Depends if they like animal crackers. Good questions though.
Why are there no ‘B’ batteries?
Because they’re too lazy to change the names.
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his iPod?
Yes it would just sound different.
If man evolved from monkeys, how come we still have monkeys?
Because they are our modern cousins. Monkeys, which we see now, also evolved from earlier species alongside with us. Hence why they look different. We just evolved differently. And technically the “monkeys” we evolved from weren’t really monkeys actually. If you look at archaeological records and scientific findings, there were many species that are a mixture of what we know as “homo-sapien” and “ape”. It’s pretty cool actually. There used to be many types of species even within the “homo-sapien” category and also those that were mixed, including your neanderthal, but at some point most of them died out and the human we know of today still lives. That’s quite spectacular don’t you think?
How do you handcuff a one-armed man?
To a bicycle and then you ride that bicycle, or to you…
When does it stop being partly cloudy and start being partly sunny?
When clouds start separating.
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
no. They’ll just realize later that sometimes naps are nice.
If you are bald, what hair color do they put on your driver’s license?
They would put your original hair color. Your age will tell them if you are permanently bald or if you just shave, and the picture is a dead give-away.
If God sneezes, what should you say?
nothing. God doesn’t exist.
Is it still illegal to park next to a fire hydrant, even if your car is on fire?
no. You would be burning with the car in that instance. Plus you would be dead so there’s no way they would even give you a ticket. I guess you can call it your ride to hell. ^^
If a bunch of cats jump on top of each other, is it still called a dog pile?
cat pile. CAT pile. C – A – T PILE!!
If a baby’s leg pops out at 11:59PM but his head doesn’t come out until 12:01, which day was he born on?
I dunno how they measure that, but I’m pretty sure they look at the time after everything is out. And if the legs are coming out first, that’s a problem…
Do Jewish vampires still avoid crosses?
hmmm……..good question. You tell me jewish vampires.
If a mime is arrested, do they tell him he has a right to talk?
I have no idea. I’m sure they would stick to the “you have the right to remain silent” ordeal.
In the song Yankee Doodle, is he calling the horse or the feather “macaroni”?
I dunno this song.
Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?
Hmmm…. what do you mean limit? Like limit for that fortune to be true and then somehow that prediction’s spell is no longer available? If so, then I don’t want any fortune cookies. First of all, the cookie isn’t all that great tasting. It’s kind of bland actually. And the fortunes usually suck.
If vampires can’t see their reflections, why is their hair always so neat?
Because they are awesome. Didn’t you know that?!
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Because body parts aren’t square. I think they should make more round bread types to fit this conundrum.
Do they have the word “dictionary” in the dictionary?
I think…..so…..? (Checks*)
Why is it that everyone driving faster than you is considered an idiot and everyone driving slower than you is a moron?
Because both of them are in my way nor care about my fuckin’ life.
Can you daydream at night?
That would be called dreaming. Just dreaming. =_=
Why do they call the little candy bars “fun sizes”. Wouldn’t it be more fun to eat a big one?
It would be fun! So much fun my friend that in fact I would rather have one giant sized Reeses chocolate, but then again that’s just a lot of peanut butter. I think then I change my mind…..I’d rather have a million gazillion fun sized Reeses Pieces, that were organized as one giant Reeses. In the middle of my living room.
With random trivia notes next to some as hidden treasure.
What is Satan’s last name?
What is a picture of a thousand words worth?
Picture this —-> one picture frame with 1,ooo words.
Why does quicksand work slowly?
I’m not sure. But I wonder why they call it quicksand if it’s not always so quick…
Can crop circles be square?
If ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don’t they fall through the floor?
Because they levitate themselves. Dude, they control their own gravity force since they’re such experts on that.
Is it legal to travel down a road in reverse, as long as you’re following the direction of the traffic?
I don’t see why not.
Why doesn’t the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?
He’s too lazy. He would rather WATCH the hockey game.
When Atheists go to court, do they have to swear on the bible?
Do Muslims or Buddhists also have to swear on the Bible? I mean, it’s an outdated concept.
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Exactly my question.
Can animals commit suicide?
Some yes. Others don’t have that sort of concept. Others just get squished and then ruin my front car glass… (>__>
Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?
Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?
The direction in which you sway your arm does change the course of the ball, but you are not actually swaying back and forth. This simply just gives it potential energy and converts it into used energy.
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
Nothing. Absofuckinlutely nothing.
If glassblowers inhale do they get a pane in the stomach?
I think they would get solid hot-burning glass in their throats making them unable to breathe quite quickly.
Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?
Yes. It is.
If a doctor suddenly had a heart attack while doing surgery, would the other doctors work on the doctor or the patient?
They would get another team.
How can something be “new” and “improved”? if it’s new, what was it improving on?
Good question although this is used to compare that new thing with a previous one. It’s called “comparatives”.
Why aren’t drapes double sided so it looks nice on the inside and outside of your home?
I don’t give a shit honestly…
Is a pessimist’s blood type B-negative?
no. . . . It is not.
Why is it that when we “skate on thin ice”, we can “get in hot water”?
where did you get this?
If money doesn’t grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Because this is another meaning for “branch”. Maybe they are secretly growing and making their own trees so they can print money paper….
Why are the little styrofoam pieces called peanuts?
They’re called peanuts? I always called them S’s.
If pro and con are opposites, wouldn’t the opposite of progress be congress?
Hmmmmmm…… By itself, it is a word or noun, but used as a prefix makes for a different word. Here con in congress is not a prefix but actually just one single word. I get where you’re getting at but it’s really a stupid question..
Why does grape flavor smell the way it is when actual grapes don’t taste or smell anything like it.?
Why does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don’t lay eggs.
Because stupid christians wanted more people to follow the christian faith so they combined many pagan beliefs and symbols as their own and making it so that it looks like “Pagans are also christians”. That’s why you get fucked up things like rabbits laying colorful eggs.
Do Siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?
Why are they called ‘Jolly Ranchers’? Who said that the ranchers were jolly?
They guy named Jolly
Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
because these are synonyms.
Can a short person “talk down” to a taller person?
yes. but maybe not physically.
If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?
I wouldn’t push that matter onto them. Seems kind of wasted.
If milk goes bad if not refrigerated, why does it not go bad inside the cow?
Hmmmm…. I actually like this question.
What’s the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?
nothing at all. they just want your money.