Answering Machine

Originally Posted: 8th of May 2012, 4:50pm

It’s amazing how far technology has brought us today,
yet there are ‘those’ people that HAVE to make it harder than what it really is. T_T

It pisses me off how answering machines were invented, yet people don’t actually
use it to its’ full potential. Here’s a good example:
A friend calls, and I happen to not be there right?
The answering machine starts.
Now, I took time of my oh so busy schedule to politely record my voice and say,
“Please leave your name, number, and reason for calling after the beep; and I’ll
get back to you”.
My friend takes a second and says, “Hey, it’s —–. Call me when you get this

What the hell man?!?!?!
Is it really that hard to follow simple instructions? I mean, I’m not asking for you
to talk about your life drama or anything! I definitely don’t want to hear a 30 min.
story about you and your buddies getting drunk and crashing a farm because
the cow gave you this ‘evil look’.
And what message are you talking about? You didn’t say ANYTHING!
Answering machines are not that hard people! If you expect the person to call you
back after leaving a message like that, you are dreaming.

All I ask is a simple name, number, and reason. It doesn’t have to be that long. For
example, if someone leaves a message like:
” Hi this is ——, we are calling about the dead cat you put on our front door. It
stinks and we would appreciate if you cleaned it up “,
then yeah I might consider calling back.
If someone leaves a message like:
” Hi. This is doctor —-‘s office calling about the mammogram. Please call us back
at 1-000-000-0000 “,
then I would definitely call back since it would be nice to know if they found a
cancerous lump that might kill me 3 years later.

Seriously, LEAVE A MESSAGE! And I don’t mean a message saying “call me when you
hear this”. T_T No! That simply will never work, no matter how many times you try
it. I mean, have you ever heard your dentist office calling you and saying that as a
message? I don’t think so. I can’t emphasize enough how much that annoys me.
And for some reason, the
other person gets mad at me because I didn’t call them back. Well, if you left a real
message like you were suppose to, then this would not have happened.

Here are some simple steps on how to leave a message:

1. Speak your NAME.
If for some reason you have a name that most people are not
familiar with, spell it out, or repeat it after finishing as a reminder to the caller.
DON’T: take forever to explain the history behind your name. No one likes that!

2. Say the NUMBER you would like to be contacted at, and make it brief.
If you don’t like people calling your personal number, give the caller an office
number, run to your office, and wait until they call you back. But with caller ID
these days, that probably won’t work. Instead use someone else’s phone to call,
and let the other person deal with the annoying call-backs.
If you are calling from another country, it would be FANTASTIC if you said the
area code as well, and any other additional numbers that might be useful.
DO: say it again after your message so the caller can write it down.

3. Say the reason for calling.
If you are calling just to talk to the person and ‘catch up’, then say exactly that.
You don”t have to be specific. Just leave it vague so the caller wonders what other
shit you were up to this time. They might actually call you back if they are interested.
If you are calling to ask a question, say what you want to ask about, but don’t actually
say the whole question. That way it’s guaranteed that they have to call you back. For
example, “Hey, I’m calling to ask you about tomorrow’s homework. Call me back at
If you are calling because you are recruiting people to your church, don’t even
call in the first place. Screw you.

Now, if for some reason that is too much work for you, then I can’t help you. But
hopefully after this post, you will understand how to leave a real message and not piss
off the people around you.


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